This past Sunday @ JTV was week 3 of our series, “I DO but sometimes I don’t”. The topic was Fighting Fair and here are some of the notes and scriptures…
- 2 Samuel 6:13-23 has the best marital fight in the Bible, it always gets nasty when you throw in-laws into the fight
- Every couple fights, it’s how you fight that will determine the success of your marriage
- The #1 thing couple fight about is money but in my short time doing marriage counseling I’ve seen plenty of throw-downs over kids, sex, TV, cleanness, in-laws, annoying habbits, work schedule. But the worst is fighting over STUPID STUFF. Please read 2 Timothy 2:23
Here are the 7 Steps to Fighting Fair
1) Pick your battles wisely
Don’t pick fights on birthdays or holidays. Don’t pick every fight, only the ones that are important. Don’t pick your battles when you’re tired, hungry or emotional. Don’t fight before bed.
Ephesians 4:26-31
2) Focus on one issue at a time
Don’t bring a list. One person can only work on one thing at a time, not five.
3) Don’t bring up the past
Some of us need to let go of, forgive , and heal from past hurts. The Bible says that there is a root of bitterness that will destroy us. Hebrews 12:14-15
4) Speak life not death
Proverbs 12:18
Ephesians 4:29
Proverbs 29:11
5) Use “I” statements not “you” statements
Example: I feel lonely when you’re gone so much versus You never come home
6) Never use “never” and “always”
Nobody always does something or never does something
7) Be quick to apologize
When you can’t apologize and seek forgiveness it is because your heart is full of pride. You can’t give in, back down, be wrong, you always have to be right – you’re prideful.
Matthew 5:23-24
